mikallo

mikallo @ 2006-08-31T23:22:00

2006-09-01T03:25:01Z

A random joke that amused me greatly.

A poodle was on a safari hunting expedition with his master and got separated from the group. Africa is a big place with lions and cheetahs that would like a poodle for a snack. Case in point, the poodle finds the bones of a dead cheetah as he is walking around lost.

That's not the worst of it, though. The poodle notices that there is another cheetah sneaking up behind him. Poodles are very smart dogs, fortunately, and he has a plan.

As the cheetah is sneaking up behind the poodle, the poodle says "My that cheetah tasted GREAT! I wonder where I can find another one!"

Highly disturbed, the cheetah runs away. However, a party pooping monkey had been watching from a tree. "I know you didn't eat a cheetah! I'm going to go tell and you're going to be cat food."

Off the monkey went.

Eventually, he found the cheetah and told him that the poodle had tricked him! The cheetah said, "Hop on my back. I'm going to go back and teach that poodle a lesson"

Off the cheetah ran with the monkey on his back, ready for revenge. He ran right back to where they'd seen the poodle before. Sure enough, the poodle was still sitting there by the cheetah bones with his back turned. He couldn't see the cheetah approaching, but instead sat still talking to himself.

"Now where's that damn monkey? I sent him out to find me another cheetah an HOUR ago!"

mikallo @ 2006-08-12T12:46:00

2006-08-12T17:57:43Z

Howdy to all y'all from down in the Lone Star state. The McCrory's be vacationing. Heck, the McCrory's have been vacationing. They're going to continue vacationing up to Kansas, Oklahoma City, and then Nebraska, but I won't be with the rest of the clan for that. Matt and I are going to be flying home on Sunday. Personally, I prefer to fly with only carry-on luggage. This allows me to avoid the hassles of checking luggage and then wondering if the luggage handlers can find their way through the subterranean maze that must be present underneath the baggage carousel. The existence of such a maze has to be the reason that luggage still ends up on different planes or takes an hour and a half to find it's way into your hands after your flight. Once airport workers fully evolve into molemen things will go much smoother, but we're not quite there yet.

The reason for that rant? Terrorists have now made it illegal to play my gameboy on the flight or even keep my cellphone in my backpack. My carry-on is no longer carriable. This is decidedly inconvenient.

Once I'm back in VA and not sharing a computer with 8 people I'll do a write up about my trip and my new job.

Peace, chicken, and grease.

mikallo @ 2006-07-19T01:01:00

2006-07-19T05:32:21Z

Stolen Survey from Whitney.

[1] What is your middle name?
Ryan

[2] What color is your mailbox?
Black with a red flag.

[3] Last time you had sex?
I'm a virgin actually. Trying to hold off until marriage or at least true love.

[4] Have you ever hit a deer?
Nope. Once I saw one get hit right across from me. It looked unreal and almost comical. Harum, maybe that doesn't sound quite right in writing.

[5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
No siree Bob. I don't drive under one, either.

[6] Do you get the paper delivered to your house in the morning?
Weekends only. Mom's currently feuding with the Post.

[7] Who checks the mail in your house?
Mostly mom unless there are report cards or other fun tidbits that need to be intercepted.

[8] Do you have a small driveway?
It's pretty long. Giggidy giggidy.

[9] Do you know anyone with the same ring tone as you?
Anyone who puts their phone on vibrate only has my ring tone. 80's song make for some of the best ringtones, though. "WHAT IS LOVE!?!? BABY DON'T HURT ME... DON'T HURT ME...NO MORE..."

[10] What do you do first in the morning?
Sleep some more and debate different ways of ending my bastard child of an air horn and a digital watch that is called an alarm clock.

[11] What brand is your printer?
Hewlett Packard

[12] Do you enjoy fighting with people?
Nope. I do enjoy Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. If a fight can't be avoided, let's just say I like "winning".

[13] Is your hair naturally straight or curly?
Straight.

[14] Who was your kindergarten teacher?
Mrs. Kipp. She was awesome and an inspiration to me still. I got to play with Legos and all sorts of stuff.

[16] Are you taller than your mother?
Yes. She's borderline midget (hyperboles are fun)

[17] Do you have a favorite word?
Yes, yes and yes. I have at least four and they change on a frequent basis. "Howdy" and "confuzzled" are definitely up there

[18] Are you God?
The world would be in trouble.

[19] What do you do to get over a broken heart?
Avoid the person like the plague for a wee bit and distract myself. I'm damn good at that. Look at my school record. I can forget a project in two clicks on a mouse or a page of a book.

[20] Do you have a deep dark secret?
I suppose you could say so. Some stuff is not for telling

[22] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens?
I enjoy typing. Not writing

[23] Does anything hurt on your body right now?
HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yes.

[24] Do you often cry during movies?
When Optimus Prime died I don't think there was a single dry eye.

[25] Do you hate your life?
Hell no, I'm too busy enjoying it (mostly)

[26] Do you get mad easily?
It's pretty hard to get my mad. There are a few things that I can get incensed about

[27] Do you drink to get drunk?
Nope. Not really a heavy drinker and I hate losing control of myself.

[28] What is your biggest pet peeve?
Probably people looking over my shoulder when I'm reading. Don't know why, it just annoys me.
EDIT: And my mom constantly asking me the same question again and again after I answered it and acting like I said something entirely different. It's pretty funny, but it can get a tid bit annoying if she does it too much.

[29] What is your away message?
There's a ton of them, but my current favorite is: "Why does %n smell? So blind people can share they hate." I think it's brilliant

[30] Do any of your friends have kids?
Sadly yes. The one that really should never have had kids.

[32] Who should pay on the first date?
The guy. It's our job to try and impress.

[33] How many years older than you are you willing to date?
Don't know. I did bump into a woman about decade older than me once that I easily could have fallen for if not for the age disparity. She was the bee's knees.

[34] Do you have any friends?
I'm rather blessed in that regard.

[35] Do you have any mean friends?
Hahahhaaha, yes.

[36] What is the ugliest color in your opinion?
Frat boys decked out in pink

[37] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends couldn't stand?
All the damn time. I honestly like everyone. It still saddens me a little when my friends can't stand people I introduce them to

[38] Have you ever felt like diving off a cliff, seriously?
Into water, yes. Suicidal? Never.

[39] Have you ever been fired from a job?
Not unless you count doing the dishes (and that was on purpose)

[40] What year was your house built?
Not a frickity fracking clue

[41] When was the last time you slept in someone elses bed?
At the beach I suppose. I've crashed on couches before if that counts

[42] What brand are the pant/jeans you're wearing right now?
I'm flexible enough to tell you Aeropostale. Hurray for cheap clothes!

[43] How tall are you?
5'8 or so

[44] What is the closest green object?
It could be my eyes, but if that doesn't count some of my students signed the class picture next to my computer in green.

[45] What is on your feet?
Toes, toenails and hobbit hair

[46] Do you always wear underwear?
Sometimes it's pretty liberating to have your taddywhacker flapping in the wind. (I quote my Jama)

[48] Do you want to have kids?
Yes. Just not now.

[49] What is the brightest color you're wearing?
White.

[50] Who is the last friend you have, that you would never expect to be gay?
Igor. He's not gay and I really don't expect him to be.

[52] Whats your mother's middle name?
Long. It's her maiden name. Don't know how common a tradition that still is.

[53] Stupidest movie you ever saw?
I'm really great at blocking out bad memories so I really couldn't tell you. Saw and the Manchurian Candidate both stunk IMO.

[54] Do you collect comic books?
Actually, I have a fair amount of trades. Damn you Kevin!

[55] Do you look like your dad
I'm a clone.

[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
Lots actually. Most them are cartoons. There's Firefly, too.

[57] Are you wearing makeup?
Nope. Maybe if I lose a bet or if it's Halloween.

[58] Do you have a tattoo?
I've been thinking about getting a small one that's easy to hide. Thought about it for years, but I can never decide on anything I wouldn't think is completely idiotic ten years later

[59] Are you happily in love?
With my family and friends, but sadly I haven't found "that special someone" yet

[60] If you won the lottery you would?
Tithe it out to the church and then my friends.

[61] Is there something you want to tell someone, but you haven't?
Doesn't everyone have something like that? Usually, it's wiser and kinder to just not say it...otherwise I would have.

[62] Do you know how to draw?
Stick figures solemente

[63] Who is your hero?
Jesus

[64] Who'd you last IM?
Talking to Dan on AIM at the moment.

[65.] Do you work a lot of hours?
NOT DURING THE SUMMER!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!! MESS EM UP!!!!

[66] What do you do when you are stressed out?
I get a headache. I'm very very rarely really stressed, but when I am I can stress myself into sickness

[67] Who was the last person that called you?
Igor

[68] Is there anything you regret?
Maybe one or two things, but that's life and we all move on.

[69] Know where your family's last name originated from?
Ireland. Look at the hair

[70] Is there any animal that creeps you out?
Crickets. It's not so much that they creep me out as I want to destroy every single last one of them with a fiery burning passion that borders on obsession.

mikallo @ 2006-07-18T13:59:00

2006-07-18T18:07:22Z

It can be really hard to remember to post to this sucker sometimes. I'm honestly just really enjoying being a bum for the summer. Writing reminds me too much of work or school! I still have anecdotes I need to write out, and I've been up to some fun stuff lately, but the motivation is fleeting. I'm just writing this to act as a quick filler for myself, so that it's not like I abandoned this project completely. In fact, I want to start writing a lot more often once the school year starts. Partly to keep track of my classes progress and what not. It's easier to see a student's process if I notice that over the course of a month I start saying nicer things about them even if they're still driving me up the walls in class. That will be friends only, though. JFK may be more likely to rise from the dead with cybernetic implants to create a great jelly donut than a student is to find my LJ, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

Anyway, that's my ten cents. If anyone has any cool memes, surveys, or just wants me to write about a funny moment I may do it.

Peace out girl scouts.

mikallo @ 2006-07-03T13:57:00

2006-07-03T17:57:44Z

The moron boys have $2000 in fireworks.

TWO-THOUSAND

Bottle rockets, mortars, and firecrackers, oh my

Maybe I should've bought some with them, but it's kind of hard for them not to share devices exploding in the air.

mikallo @ 2006-07-02T14:16:00

2006-07-02T18:20:14Z

An ode to tea.

I just got done brewing up a pot of English Afternoon tea. It's a new leaf for me, but it's worth a shot. Milk is recommended for bringing out the full flavor. I'm not sure what flavor they're talking about, but it's probably not the flavor of the great big flakey chunks of milk floating on top of my tea. Cheers anyone?

Always check the milk after you're gone for a week.

Thank you.

*snap snap*

Heh.

mikallo @ 2006-06-25T13:15:00

2006-06-25T17:17:09Z

NOTE: I started this Saturday morning, but never had time to finish. I'm sitting around waiting for my family to be ready to leave for the beach and figured I'd post what I'd done so far.

A writing exercise really doesn't get you anywhere if you DON'T WRITE! Bad Mike! No banana! (The potassium in bananas is scientifically proven to make you happy)

Properly chastised, I will now relate the events of last Saturday and those that led up to it before the haze of memory obscures all the details.

Friday, June 16, 2006

* "Damn, I'm overweight."

This would not do at all. In terms of experience, I'm a rank beginner at this stuff. If I want to win any tomorrow, I need to make sure I'm up against people my size or smaller if I can.

In a habit gained from years on the wrestling team, I start to shuck all the non-essentials. The shirt goes on the floor, socks and shoes are flung in the corner, pockets are emptied of anything (no matter how small), the Celtic cross the Twins brought home from Europe is on the counter....and I'm still a couple pounds over. The blue jeans come off and I've dropped a grand total of 4 pounds. Just a tad over the weight class I want to be in.

I get to cut weight. Hip hip, hooray.

What am I doing? I'm getting ready for my first ever Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournament. It's a first in my personal history and there's no way I'm going to let it go down with a bad taste. Maybe I'm broken in the head, but I want to do whatever it takes to win. Even fasting for a day to lose a pound or two.

You'd be surprised how much a person's weight can fluctuate over the course of one day. It's not permanent weight loss, but it gets the job done. Luckily, I'm pretty close to where I need to be. I won't have to get out the chewing gum, or a sweat suit. Once, I saw a friend on the wrestling team lose over 6 pounds in two hours. And he only weighed 125 lbs. Do the math on what percent of his weight that is.

However, I’ll have to continue this monologue later. Work will not wait for me and it’s going to be an interesting day.

Saturday, June 17, 2006 (Morning)

* That bastard of a byproduct from an air horn and a cheap digital watch won’t shut up! Six O’clock is a truly unnatural time to rise on a Saturday. Hell, did I ever really go to sleep?

Matt had called around midnight to let us know that his prom kept getting more interesting. In this case: he was lost. I passed on some directions from Bill and then waited up in case he called again. Matt had already had a very eventful night and I wanted to make sure that there was nothing more I could do to help before I went to bed. By 1:00 AM I was reasonable sure he’d manage to survive the rest of the night so I hit the hay. Only to be woken up at 3:30 in the morning.

Before going to bed, I had turned the ringer on my cell phone up to astronomical heights. I’m a notoriously heavy sleeper once I get underway and I didn’t want to miss a possible call from Matt. My accursed ringer pulled me out of a good dream that I really don’t remember (there may have been rainbows, unicorns, and Lucky the leprechaun) and left my laying in bed and completely confuzzled.

I don’t think I even knew my own name at this point.

However, the dog began to bark and coherency started to return. My first thought: “It’s 3:30 in the morning and the dog’s barking. Are the cops back?” After 15 seconds that felt like minutes, I dragged myself out of bed to hide my iPod.

Fortunately, my brain was starting to function at normal Mike levels (which may be a bit scatterbrained compared to your average sixth grader) and I went up to see what the dog was barking at: the Twins. The stinkers had gone out into Georgetown to dance and they had forgotten to bring a house key with them.

That wasn’t my last wake up call, either. Matthew made his way down stairs after a long prom night at some point in the wee hours of the morning. I heard him come down the stairs and sleepily questioned him on how his night went. From there, it was back to sleep……like my blissfully snoring roommate. Bill had somehow managed to sleep through the cell phone, the dog, the twins, and Matt. The alarm clock screaming probably didn’t even register in his head.

I digress. The basic idea is I didn’t sleep too soundly or too long. My sadistic alarm clock is going off like monkeys with fireworks and I’ve got a 45 minute drive to Fredericksburg on an empty stomach.

Heavenly ain’t it?

Saturday, June 17, 2006 (Fredericksburg)

Traffic was just swell. I got to rocket my way down I-95 with the other 2 million people determined to break the speed limit. Driving is a lot like anything else in life: You’re not trying hard enough if you aren’t cheating. 65 mph? Why not 70 mph? Don’t you want to get there? You can eek that out without getting in any trouble. This is Virginia. We like NASCAR (even if I don’t).

It could be worse. I could be in Maryland where the favorite motor sport is bumper cars.

The only thing is I’m now in Fredericksburg and relying heavily on Mapquest. Can you see why I may be a tad worried about my prospects of arriving on time? Everything turns out fine, though. The dingy looking place I just drove by turns out to be where I need to be.

I’m going to be competing in a bar.

A bar.

A “bar” as in a place that serves alcohol, has pool tables, and this particular dive probably has a riding bull that they stashed in the back.

This should be unique.

mikallo @ 2006-06-16T23:22:00

2006-06-17T03:30:14Z

Ya know...I'm really going to miss working at the Burke ALC. Today was the last day for the students and it was a real rollercoaster ride. However, all of the staff went out to eat afterwards to celebrate our survival. Maybe it was a combination of realizing that working at Burke is as close as I've come to a dream job, further realizing that I won't be working there next year, and not eating because I'm cutting a couple of pounds for the tournament tomorrow...I just got a little down during the lunch. I'm gonna miss that place, but it's time to move on.

Other than that it's been a great day. I danced with the staff to the "Celebrate Good Times Come on!" song (whatever it's called), delivered food to the homeless, (hopefully) supplied my brother with good directions to the prom, and I'm a bit nervous/excited about the tournament tomorrow. I'm hoping that I don't go down there and realize I forgot something major. It's not super-close and everyone is pretty busy, so I'm 99.9% likely to be making a solo trip. Even Christine and Cooley are going to be up in Burke the one time I run down to Fredricksburg. Other than that, I'd like to win at least one match and preferably as many as I lose.

Looking back at my earlier and funnier writings, I'm going to have to start writing some anecdotes when I'm fully done with work next Tuesday.

mikallo @ 2006-06-11T00:09:00

2006-06-11T04:17:02Z

I'd write more, but life has been quite busy.   This is the final week of work for my students! WOOOOO!!!   I'll still have a pair of teacher workdays the week after, but it's all gravy.

In other news, I ache all over. I decided I've been lazy about lifting weights lately and I should start doing squats. Enter rubber legs.   Then there was two hours of BJJ today and tennis doubles afterwards.   John and I headed to Giant afterwards so he could get sandwich ingredients and I could rent Harry Potter for school (more on that fun upcoming story later).

In a BJJ belt ceremony it is apparently commonplace to get your bunda smacked by everyone else's belt at the ceremony.   I saw a man who won't be sitting for a week thanks to 70 helpful BJJ students.

I'm, also thinking about participating in this: http://combatsportschallenge.com/images/CSC15_old.jpg

Good thing I get to list myself as a novice...

mikallo @ 2006-06-06T23:15:00

2006-06-07T03:15:49Z

xWhoDrivingx (10:43:48 PM): http://www.streetracersonline.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=9745&st=0&p=186636&

Auto response from MikalloMcc (10:43:48 PM): BJJ with a Gi is no longer like wrestling....it's like asthma. Damn those things overheat you!

MikalloMcc (10:49:49 PM): HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
MikalloMcc (10:49:53 PM): Phase inducers!?!?!?!
MikalloMcc (10:50:02 PM): warp coils?!?!?!
xWhoDrivingx (10:50:05 PM): i have so much fun there it should be outlawed
MikalloMcc (10:50:29 PM): The first sentence had me going "Wtf? How much does he......there's no way he's serious"
MikalloMcc (10:50:35 PM): hahahhahahhaa
MikalloMcc (10:51:14 PM): John....while you are an asshole, there are days that you can still be my hero
xWhoDrivingx (10:51:30 PM): thank you

mikallo @ 2006-06-02T20:11:00

2006-06-03T00:22:06Z

Today was a loooong day. At school, we took the kids to a Civil War medicine museum and an Antietam field hospital.

In short: One of the students passed out and hit his head 20 feet from me, we saw a haunted house, learned all about amputation and we got stuck in rush hour beltway traffic.

Actually, it wasn't a bad time at all, but after driving a student home when his mom was a no-show and a broke down truck on Burke Lake Road, I didn't get home until after 6:30.   Mike = Tired with a capital T.

I've got to start thinking about where I want to work next year, as well.   Lake Braddock and W.T. Woodson have both asked me to take a contract with them.    They both expect an answer relatively quickly too.    It's funny, because I went to both of those interviews as practice and never really thought about working there.   Now, they contacted me at the earliest allowed time and I'm considering it.

Much pondering needs to be done.

For now, I'm off to play Warhammer.

mikallo @ 2006-05-21T10:53:00

2006-05-21T14:53:40Z

I saw a man crowd surf in a wheel chair.

mikallo @ 2006-05-19T15:24:00

2006-05-19T19:37:15Z

Today was one of those days at work where you feel like you really accomplished something. In my case (and hopefully my students), it was a memory.

I was outside with five of the kids and we were supposed to be shoveling/transferring mulch. The only problem was none of the kids sans one wanted to get any dirt on their hands. Who'd have thought the little hooligans are all neat-nicks? Anyway, after chasing some geese and smearing dirt on my face warpaint style we all had a good time AND did our work. It was great seeing everyone have a good time. They were all acting more like kids their age than "hardcore" or "thugs."

Hopefully, all the stinkers understand that none of us are in it for the money (personally, I get paid in tiddleywinks and broken pencils) and that we actually care what happens in the end.

Today's meeting was a lot of fun, too. I think that Ms. Howell really enjoyed the idea of a staff paintball bonding exercise.

mikallo @ 2006-05-12T22:31:00

2006-05-13T02:55:40Z

I should be heading to bed, but here I am farting around on AIM and LJ.   Tomorrow morning I have to take the Virginia Reading Assessment at 7:30 AM at Mt. Vernon High School. It's at least half an hour away and I probably should *shudder* Mapquest the directions. I'm not too worried though!   The test was a new requirement for aspiring special education teachers as of January 1, 2006. There is no minimum score up until June 15! I could walk in, spit on the test, sign my name and still be licensed.   It's HIGHLY tempting to do so as well.   Any other ideas that would help make a story of a lifetime are welcome!

Today has been a pretty good day.   It's going to sound even better when I gloss over all the slow parts!

1) At work it was Teacher Appreciation Day. Vicki and I managed to find whipped cream and strawberries in the cafeteria for all the teachers.   In return, I was surprised with a class photo signed by all the kids. All of the staff received a photo and a plant that's going into the class garden. I just hope I'm not supposed to sing to it! I don't know the first thing about gardening and I'm pretty sure that my singing would stunt the population growth of a pair of chinese rabbits hopped up on viagra.   Also, I got some candle holders. I labeled them "His and Her" shot glasses much to the amusement of Mandy

2) After school, I met up with Bill. He had his wisdom teeth pulled out today. However, he proved to be a disappointment. There were no drunken anesthetic antics.   He was behaved.   This goes against every experience I've ever had with him and alcohol. More on that one later.

3) I went out to dinner with some of the family and Jama. Free food = great.   Dad sported me for a ride on the hood of his car as well.   Mom was not amused.

4) Bill's girlfriend, Jess, confessed that Jama tried to make her take her pants of in the kitchen.   I do not lie. (It sounds naughty, but in reality Jama just wanted to see her insulin pump and what it looked like)

5) I popped over to Cooley's for a bit. I retrieved my camera (oh, how I missed it) and was subjected to some music videos.   The NSYNC of India reminded me of Captain Planet and the Planeteers with Turbans. They also had potbellies, beards, and threw CG fireballs.

mikallo @ 2006-05-10T21:27:00

2006-05-11T01:36:23Z

I haven't updated for a bit. However, I just got back from frisbee golf and now I'm lazy so here's a news snippet. I think that they're having trouble thinking up good news lately. http://www.cnn.com/2006/EDUCATION/05/10/perpetual.student.ap/index.html I love the last line. "For the sanity of the rest of the campus, we want him to get out of here." If only the rest of us, could have similar things posted about us by CNN.

mikallo @ 2006-05-03T22:23:00

2006-05-04T02:46:47Z

Isn't it funny how most people can crap out any sort of writing that is nonessential? Take this LJ post and compare it to the take home final that's due tomorrow. My bad! I can't complain about being bored, because everything becomes more fun when you're supposed to be working! I'm having a blast!

Anyway, the real reason for this post is to relate a funny mom story. Monday, while I was at work, my mom called me.

"Mike? My rear window exploded at a stop light. Can they do that?"

According to my mom, she was sitting at a red light, minding her own business, when the back window on the van decided to hop on the back seat and take a breather. There was no wreck. No warning. Just....*CRASH!!!!* I meant to take a picture of the broken window, but my dad is too quick acting. I think he was ecstatic over the idea of work to do. He knocked that puppy out and vacuumed it all up in two shakes of a dog's tail. Mom does not want to drive her car for fear of police and being carjacked through the now vacant back window.

That's the setup.

Mom asks me if she can borrow my car to go to the library.   I'm ok with this.   Most people wouldn't be with my mom's record. She has a tendency to hit parked cars and root around in her purse while turning.    I cough up the keys and go back to procrastinating writing my paper (I've had a week to get started...whoops!).

About ten minutes later I'm farting around on the computer and I get a cellphone call. This time it's Patrick.   Mom can't get my car started. DID SHE BREAK IT ALREADY!?!?!? I'm about to grab Matt's keys and go find her, but she's still in THE DRIVEWAY! She never figured out how to start my car!

She was using the wrong key!   This explains where my brains or lack thereof come from!

After a belly-aching laugh, I return to my previously scheduled procrastinating only to get ANOTHER surprise!   Five minutes later, Patrick comes downstairs and gives me my keys back.

"Mom can't figure out how to put your car in reverse, so we're just going to take Matt's."

My mom is funny as hell. You wish you had a mom as cool as mine.

mikallo @ 2006-05-01T16:00:00

2006-05-01T20:37:44Z

A great, big HAPPY BIRTHDAY went out to my friend Cammy this past weekend. A motley crew of highly entertaining individuals was gathered for a celebration at the Maccaroni Grill. Here are a few of the highlights and a few of the ~~dweebs~~ people:

The one with the nice smile on your left is Cammy. She's the birthday girl. Happy 20th! The crazy asian sensation on the right (who is about to eat Cammy like a birthday cake) is Erwen.   Erwen is Cammy's boy-toy.   You could also say, "He's her bitch."   However, he was nice enough to plan out a birthday event.

("Plan out" may indicate a little more order than describes the party, though.   Paul and I were the only two people to get to the restaurant on time! )

Whoops! Almost forgot Phil. He's the buff dude half-in the picture and half-out of his mind.   Well, not really, but it does make for a wittier comment. He's an ex-Pohickian like yours truly and Cammy.

I got to sit next to these two cool kids.   The facial-haired fellow on my left is Paul.   He's intensely fond of raccoons, makes odd chirping noises, is a fruitcake personified, and I owe him a peppermint in the face (sneaky bastard got me good in the parking lot as we left). The looker on the right who is trying to stab me with a crayon is Stephanie. I chose "looker" as my description of her, because it is accurate and rhymes with smelly pirate hooker. We had a makeshift drawing contest on the table.   I claim victory. (It's my LJ, I can claim whatever I want!)

Here's a sample of the drawings.   None of this was drawn by your's truly. It was drawn by Dave and Cammy tagged the fish as me on Facebook. That stinker! Hahahahaha.   Like I said, "highly entertaining people"!!!!   There were some good illustrations all around. I drew a wicked cool frog, Steph drew a unicorn that she's pregnant with, Whitney did portraits, and Paul drew many man tools.   "Man tool" is another word for "penis".

This is Whittless and her boy-toy Dave.   You may not be able to see the camera-shy crouton hiding behind Whitney's massive guns, but he's the table artist from above.   I jokingly called him a liberal hippy, but I suppose he's more of a libertarian or conservative. Fortunately, there were no politics discussed at this party as politics are the devil. You never win even when you agree with the other person!

Whitney, on the other hand, isn't afraid of no stinking camera. She's planning on being Miss Facial Hair 2007 if the handlebar mustache comes in as planned.   Luckily, she has a good sense of humor as well.   I know this, or I wouldn't be risking her wrath right now.    (To Whit: Please don't hurt me)

Here's a better pic of Dave for those interested.   Damn communists.

There were some other, more camera shy peeps at this shindig, but the pictures are lacking in quality. If you really want to see more of the pictures, you'll have to check Facebook. I just wanted to learn how to post pictures and what-not on LJ.   I succeeded.

I really wish I had brought my own camera. I could have gotten some fantabulous pictures. As it was, it was a good time. I'll give it 4 stars out of 5. Everyone, but Bill Dan and I went to a movie after dinner. I ended up going up into the district. The driving around in DC for over 2 hours following some ditzy fashion models doing their best to ~~ditch~~ guide my car and another is a separate story for a separate time.

It's all gravy.

EDIT:

Whoops. One last picture.

Can't leave Bill and his blurry-headed brother Dan out.   Dan doesn't normally shower, so you're not missing too much by not seeing his face.   I've known the two boogers since I was three and it's not normally a party unless at least one of them shows up.

mikallo @ 2006-04-27T22:37:00

2006-04-28T02:42:42Z

On a random note, I'd just like to say:

Damn, I love my workplace.

Everyone I work with is:
A) Motivated
B) Intelligent
C) Friendly and Fun!
D) Willing to help each other out

Even if I was offered a job paying double my current salary, I'd stick with my job until the end of the year.

I had a grand time riding home from training with 4 of my coworkers today. (All female of course....it's the education field.) I suppose I was in serious danger of estrogen poisoning, but I was laughing too hard to care. Somehow, my coworkers decided our Security Resource Officer needed to have his head photoshopped onto a few pictures and posted around the office. There was much planning being done.

That is all.

mikallo @ 2006-04-25T22:30:00

2006-04-26T02:51:29Z

I bought myself a microphone and it is most excellent. It is strangely more fun than is allowed in most third world nations. A lot of peeps on my AIM list are smelly pirate hookers and un-fun, but I had several excellent, if one-way, conversations. Erwen even had a mic, so he could talk back.

EDIT: Someone attempted to bot me as well, so I threw it in just for kicks.

Here's the funniest of the conversations I had....you're just going to have to imagine me doing the following:

1) Explaining I'm a cowboy
2) Yelling Yee-ha
3) I sung to a man.
4) I dropped some mad rhymes with my funky fresh skillz.
5) Interrupting conversations of people playing World of Warcraft and digitally mocking them. I may have yelled FunkyButtLoving! at least twice.

brkfastwithBandE (9:49:50 PM): haha
brkfastwithBandE (9:49:53 PM): I don't have a mike
brkfastwithBandE (9:49:55 PM): mic
brkfastwithBandE (9:49:58 PM): haha
brkfastwithBandE (9:50:10 PM): heh
brkfastwithBandE (9:50:17 PM): haha wow
brkfastwithBandE (9:50:26 PM): mikeeeeeee
brkfastwithBandE (9:50:44 PM): yes
brkfastwithBandE (9:50:54 PM): haha that's cool
brkfastwithBandE (9:50:58 PM): I'm gay
brkfastwithBandE (9:50:59 PM): sorry about that
brkfastwithBandE (9:51:10 PM): agreed
brkfastwithBandE (9:51:15 PM): :-P
brkfastwithBandE (9:51:39 PM): I'm pretty sure that was actually john
brkfastwithBandE (9:52:07 PM): I need a mic
brkfastwithBandE (9:52:11 PM): this is creepy
brkfastwithBandE (9:52:14 PM): haha
brkfastwithBandE (9:52:22 PM): except free
brkfastwithBandE (9:52:27 PM): hmm that would kick a little ass
brkfastwithBandE (9:53:01 PM): ?
brkfastwithBandE (9:53:22 PM): miiiiiiike
brkfastwithBandE (9:53:31 PM): dinomikee
brkfastwithBandE (9:53:47 PM): ?
brkfastwithBandE (9:54:12 PM): sounds morrocan
brkfastwithBandE (9:54:21 PM): gay hero
brkfastwithBandE (9:54:31 PM): haha
brkfastwithBandE (9:54:53 PM): haha nice
brkfastwithBandE (9:55:11 PM): touch my touchpad
brkfastwithBandE (9:55:27 PM): aww
MikalloMcc (9:55:45 PM): hahaha
brkfastwithBandE (9:55:48 PM): haha
MikalloMcc (9:55:49 PM): that's spiffy
brkfastwithBandE (9:55:51 PM): how'd you do that?
MikalloMcc (9:55:57 PM): with a microphone
brkfastwithBandE (9:56:04 PM): geez
MikalloMcc (10:03:15 PM): this is fun
MikalloMcc (10:03:23 PM): I must IM Talk with EVERYONE
brkfastwithBandE (10:03:30 PM): you're mad
brkfastwithBandE (10:03:41 PM): that's a vulgar display of your microphone powers

And then there was Sarah-bear and Chronically Colleen.

MikalloMcc (9:56:18 PM): I want you to do me a fun favor

Auto response from SoccerGirl04Fun (9:56:19 PM): day 2...

MikalloMcc (9:56:28 PM): I need you to drop your away message for a second
MikalloMcc (9:56:33 PM): and then hit "ok"
SoccerGirl04Fun returned at 9:56:48 PM.
MikalloMcc (9:57:19 PM): you know you want to
MikalloMcc (9:57:26 PM): click click click!
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:57:29 PM): what do i do
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:57:45 PM): I hear you
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:57:47 PM): I can't talk back
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:57:54 PM): crap
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:57:58 PM): thats what I did
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:01 PM): hahhahahaha
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:06 PM): this is hilarious
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:10 PM): oh mike
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:13 PM): hahahahaha
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:15 PM): keep going
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:18 PM): what?
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:23 PM): really?
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:28 PM): ur a cowboy?
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:32 PM): colleen says hi
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:38 PM): so we got beaten up
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:40 PM): she is good
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:44 PM): yes
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:45 PM): hahaha
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:46 PM): yeah
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:50 PM): what
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:58:55 PM): oh our instructor
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:04 PM): and like five other advance belts
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:06 PM): hahahahaha
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:08 PM): this is hilarious
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:10 PM): hahahaha
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:12 PM): it so was
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:22 PM): hahahahahhahhahahahh gang bang
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:31 PM): ur hurting my heart
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:37 PM): stop making me laugh
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:40 PM): hahahahahhahaa
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:49 PM): sarahs dying
SoccerGirl04Fun (9:59:54 PM): yes
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:00:05 PM): i almost spit out my water when you said gang bang
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:00:08 PM): yes, yes i did
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:00:12 PM): i killed her
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:00:20 PM): we want a microphone
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:00:31 PM): ahahha exactly. and another rule is go after people smaller than you
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:00:38 PM): ok were going to go shower now
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:00:46 PM): ahhahahahahahahhahahahah
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:01 PM): hahahaahahahhahah awow
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:17 PM): hahahahaha
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:24 PM): ok well be back
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:34 PM): hahahahaha, ok
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:36 PM): yes
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:39 PM): ur mom
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:41 PM): hahahaha
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:45 PM): stop sounding like robot
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:47 PM): hahahahaha
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:01:52 PM): hahahahahahhahahahha
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:02:13 PM): try what out?
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:02:19 PM): oh ok
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:02:32 PM): I can't do it
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:02:37 PM): no
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:02:46 PM): did you communist?
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:02:56 PM): ok I am nakey
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:02:58 PM): bye bye
SoccerGirl04Fun (10:03:08 PM): lata

and finally, someone decided to send a bot my way. Too bad it was one of the poorly programmed ones from Ebaumsworld and obvious by reply number 2....but I still had some fun with it....

mag00Fan126 (10:36:40 PM): Hey mike wuts upthis is AshleyRemember me
MikalloMcc (10:37:11 PM): depends on which Ashley you are
MikalloMcc (10:37:21 PM): Jess's friend?
mag00Fan126 (10:37:23 PM): your weird lol
MikalloMcc (10:37:44 PM): well, duh
MikalloMcc (10:37:48 PM): you obviously know me then
mag00Fan126 (10:37:54 PM): i just went for a run so i'm all sweaty now, gross lol
MikalloMcc (10:38:15 PM): neato. Your name is Ashley what?
MikalloMcc (10:38:23 PM): since I'm getting pranked I think.
mag00Fan126 (10:38:25 PM): christina 23/female/texas
MikalloMcc (10:38:31 PM): thought so. It's a bot
MikalloMcc (10:38:37 PM): How are you Ms. Bot
mag00Fan126 (10:38:41 PM): im not a bot, lol did u really think i was?
MikalloMcc (10:38:51 PM): I'm rather convinced you are
MikalloMcc (10:39:02 PM): Polly wolly doodle all day
mag00Fan126 (10:39:02 PM): yea...
MikalloMcc (10:39:21 PM): bot bot bot bot bottom
mag00Fan126 (10:39:30 PM): im not a bot, lol did u really think i was?
MikalloMcc (10:39:48 PM): since you're repeating yourself it's quite obvious. I'm just wondering who sent you this way from ebaumsworld
MikalloMcc (10:39:57 PM): I thought about doing it to people once then decided it was kinda lame
mag00Fan126 (10:39:58 PM): my name is christina
MikalloMcc (10:40:15 PM): uh huh. You're a broken bot. You originally said your name was Ashely....and I'm gay
MikalloMcc (10:40:17 PM): very much so
MikalloMcc (10:40:18 PM): flaming
MikalloMcc (10:40:25 PM): I light curtains on fire when I walk into a room
mag00Fan126 (10:40:28 PM): what? lol sorry i'm no bot
MikalloMcc (10:40:30 PM): it's smoking
mag00Fan126 (10:40:40 PM): lol
MikalloMcc (10:40:47 PM): lollerskates yourself
mag00Fan126 (10:40:59 PM): are u any good with computers? I am pretty illiterate when it comes to computers, haha
MikalloMcc (10:41:31 PM): Ice cream makes them run faster. Spoon it right on in!
mag00Fan126 (10:41:40 PM): hmmm, whta do you want to talk about?
MikalloMcc (10:41:43 PM): My best friend just put the string to his shorts over my head and tried to choke me
mag00Fan126 (10:41:59 PM): :-P
MikalloMcc (10:42:35 PM): actually I can't breathe.
mag00Fan126 (10:42:45 PM): ;-)
MikalloMcc (10:43:48 PM): So....who's your daddy and what does he do?
mag00Fan126 (10:44:03 PM): u doin ok over there?
MikalloMcc (10:44:19 PM): So....who's your daddy and what does he do?
mag00Fan126 (10:44:28 PM): roys my daddy!
MikalloMcc (10:44:38 PM): Most excellent. WHat does he do
MikalloMcc (10:44:40 PM): ?
mag00Fan126 (10:44:46 PM): the stupid phone keeps ringing and i dont wanna answer it, haha
MikalloMcc (10:45:08 PM): Strangely...for a broken program you're still smarter than most people I meet on the streets
mag00Fan126 (10:45:21 PM): lol
MikalloMcc (10:45:31 PM): yeah, laugh it up
MikalloMcc (10:45:36 PM): I like it when you laugh
mag00Fan126 (10:45:45 PM): alrighty then
MikalloMcc (10:45:57 PM): yes yes yes, say it again
MikalloMcc (10:46:02 PM): laugh for me
mag00Fan126 (10:46:08 PM): alrighty
MikalloMcc (10:46:18 PM): YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mag00Fan126 (10:46:30 PM): are you any good with cmoputers? I am pretty illiterate when it comes to computers, haha
mag00Fan126 (10:46:49 PM): You have been talking to a computer! One of your friends is reading the whole conversation and laughing it up right now! GET EVEN! Have the bot prank all your friends by visiting imprank.ebaumsworld(dot)com
MikalloMcc (10:46:55 PM): well, no shit sherlock
MikalloMcc (10:47:07 PM): you broke by the second time you responded with lol.

I suppose it could've been funnier, but I didn't know who sent it, so I couldn't tailor the humor....that and the thing about Bill trying to strangle me with his shorts was very true. I was trying to talk to Matt Jess and Bill at the same time.....and damn that bot took forever to just fess up!

Anyway, I have a microphone. Online video games will never be the same.

My name is Mike McCrory and I'm a Microphone Whore.

mikallo @ 2006-04-22T16:41:00

2006-04-22T20:42:06Z

Oh yes....I fully intend to steal Whitney's brilliant technique and make a photo-story at some point.

mikallo @ 2006-04-22T15:56:00

2006-04-22T20:31:29Z

Sweet oogly moogly, it's been a while since I've posted! Life has just been busy as of late. Fun stuff has happened as well, but I'm too busy relaxating to type out a long story. Instead, I present this random bulleted list.

Mike's week in passing:

1. Sunday was Easter. There was much rejoicing. Yay! Lucas was there as well, because he was declared not guilty on April 13th. The Police have lost so much respect in my eyes that it's unbelievable. They did everything from lying on the affidavit, talking to each other while under oath not to, and changing evidence to make it seem more incriminating.

2. School started up again. There was much work to be done. On Wednesday, for example, two of our teachers were AWOL. There were no subs, but yours truly. It's a good thing I like these kids.

3. There was Brazilian Jiu Jitsu on Tuesday as usual. I, also, keep bumping in to people I knew from high school. Well, in this case, it was more someone I knew of from high school. The cardio-kickboxing teacher at Mason graduated with me and I've been talking with her a little bit as her class ends and mine begins. She's the second person from my class I've bumped into that is a teacher.

4. I had to skip Pool Night on Wednesday due to an imminent research paper. There was little sleep that night...only it wasn't from overworking. I played much DOTA with Bill and Matt and ended up chatting online with Stephanie. Homework and Mike don't normally coexist in the same basement.

5. Friday was Phoenix Rising. Bill, Cammy and Erwen came along to trudge through the rain delivering food to the homeless. I almost stepped on a makeshift tennis ball bong. My bud Josh wasn't there, but the four of us went out to Friday's for a good time. Then Bill and I came back to hang out with Matt, Briggs and Dan. Trigun!!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!

6. I'm writing more than I thought....anyway...Saturday is now my day of rest. I went to work for a couple hours or so to do some basic carpentry with Ken. I've got to go with Bill to pick up a workout bench and some tires from his house, but I plan on being worthless the rest of the day. It'll be great.

mikallo @ 2006-04-18T22:50:00

2006-04-19T02:59:56Z

>
WARNING

Mikallo is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

From Go-Quiz.com

mikallo @ 2006-04-10T23:12:00

2006-04-11T03:31:24Z

Spring Break 2006

One of the real tricks to Spring Break is balancing out doing nothing and doing something. You are, also, required by law to sleep in as late as you can. This may be 3pm for some of you. For me, it was a glorious 10:00 AM. Sure, I really woke up at about 9, but my lard butt wasn't getting out of bed for anything. Anything short of one million dollars, a full breakfast, or brand new Red Ryder BB Gun, that is. We all have our prices....I'll make a list for those interested at some point.

The day started off nice and lazy. I found out one of my friends is hoping to become a mama-bear. Her choices of name were suspect, but congratulations to the little fart. Hatch something you're proud of! Afterward, I ended up running to Starbucks to meet up with Christine.

Things got a little interesting at that point. While Christine and I are catching up, I get a cell phone call from Mom. No big deal. I figure I'll just call her back in 5 minutes. 5 minutes later, my phone is ringing again. Uh oh...better pick that thing up like it's hot.

"Hello?"

"Mike. I need your help with your brother. He's being TERRIBLE. Where are you?"

"Starbucks with an old friend."

"I'll be right there."

Normally, everyone who knows me would assume that my Mom was talking about my youngest brother, Patrick. Not so! She's speaking of Matthew. Matt was lucky enough to get his wisdom teeth pulled out today. That means he got to get doped up with a bit of general anesthesia as well. Matt's a handle fun when he's cognizant, but when he's tripping daisies he's apparently too much for my mom to handle! She pulled up in front of Starbucks and asked me to follow her home.

What exactly did Matt do to our poor mother? Here are the highlights.

1. Matt bit a nurse after clearly being asked not to.
2. Nature called and Matt tried to take it all out in front of the doctor and nurses. (Almost successfully)
3. He was throwing his sandals around the surgeon's office.
4. He played hide and go seek with his sandals in the surgeon's office.
5. There were many cartwheels through the parking lot
6. Car doors were attempted to be opened while the vehicle was in motion.
7. Matt thought he was a siamese twin attached to Mom's hip.
8. Water was splashed over Mom to the chorus of "A2 A2! I sank your battleship!"
9. A pair of socks were loaded with ice and worn as bunny ears.

Matt's memory apparently started kicking in around number 6 or so. God Bless my annoying as hell brother.

mikallo @ 2006-04-10T01:25:00

2006-04-10T05:27:16Z

I should be asleep...only I'm not....and I have too much energy. Unfortunately, my book isn't all that and a bag of crackers, so I had to find alternatives.

Allow me to introduce the AIM bot Dr. Glass.

MikalloMcc (1:19:21 AM): Hello
DrGlass (1:19:21 AM): Why hello, mikallomcc.

Can you talk?
MikalloMcc (1:19:28 AM): Perfectly well when I want to
DrGlass (1:19:29 AM): I am Dr. Michael Glass and I am Catherine Trammel's psychiatrist. I should have never taken Catherine on as a patient.
MikalloMcc (1:19:40 AM): Sounds like a personal problem
DrGlass (1:19:40 AM): Ask me what I did.
MikalloMcc (1:20:10 AM): No, let me guess.....Colonel Mustard....in the dining room with the wrench! Am I right?
DrGlass (1:20:10 AM): Whatever, mikallomcc...
MikalloMcc (1:20:21 AM): well, you're the one asking me to ask you questions
DrGlass (1:20:21 AM): How does that make you feel?
MikalloMcc (1:20:44 AM): Like a reese's peanut butter cup out in the sun
DrGlass (1:20:44 AM): Exactly.
MikalloMcc (1:20:48 AM): .....
DrGlass (1:20:48 AM): Hmm...
MikalloMcc (1:21:01 AM): Do you like peanut butter?
DrGlass (1:21:02 AM): I don't know how I feel about peanut butter.
MikalloMcc (1:21:08 AM): Everyone likes peanut butter
DrGlass (1:21:08 AM): Everyone likes peanut butter? I see.
MikalloMcc (1:21:13 AM): I don't think you do
DrGlass (1:21:14 AM): No? You don't think I do?
MikalloMcc (1:21:30 AM): It is mana from the heavens
DrGlass (1:21:30 AM): Aha.
MikalloMcc (1:21:39 AM): First you smear it all over....
DrGlass (1:21:39 AM): First I smear it all over?
MikalloMcc (1:21:44 AM): yes yes, don't be shy
DrGlass (1:21:45 AM): Tell me more.
MikalloMcc (1:21:51 AM): Oh, you dirty boy, I'll give you more
DrGlass (1:21:51 AM): Dirty boy you will give me more? You think I dirty boy you will give me more?
MikalloMcc (1:21:57 AM): yes yes yes
DrGlass (1:21:58 AM): Aha.

My relationship with Catherine has obviously gotten too complicated for me to sort out. While she is beautiful, she has proven cunning and dangerous.
MikalloMcc (1:22:24 AM): Just smear some peanut butter over Catherine and that should sort things out
DrGlass (1:22:24 AM): Just smear some peanut butter over catherine and that should sort things out? That's a somewhat odd request.
MikalloMcc (1:22:44 AM): That's what she said! Gigiddy gigiddy!
DrGlass (1:22:44 AM): Interesting.
MikalloMcc (1:22:55 AM): Not as much as Catherine covered in peanut butter
DrGlass (1:22:56 AM): If not as much as catherine covered in peanut butter, then what?
MikalloMcc (1:23:02 AM): Who the heck is she anyway?
DrGlass (1:23:02 AM): Catherine is well known for her novels... her money... the numerous scandals that feed both.

Ask me what I've done.
MikalloMcc (1:23:17 AM): .....you're like a broken record....Allright....tell me
DrGlass (1:23:17 AM): Apologies. She just has me out of sorts.

Ask me what I'm going to do.
MikalloMcc (1:23:35 AM): ...I asked you what you've done
DrGlass (1:23:35 AM): Catherine Trammel's a novelist whose latest book is "Shooter." It closely resembles a murderous affair she had with a San Francisco police detective.

Ask me what I've done.
MikalloMcc (1:23:49 AM): bah humbug....what have you done?
DrGlass (1:23:49 AM): I really shouldn't be telling you this...
MikalloMcc (1:23:57 AM): go ahead
DrGlass (1:23:58 AM): I should have never taken her on as a patient. I'm a psychiatrist - I should have recognized the danger.
MikalloMcc (1:24:30 AM): What if I told you this conversation is being recorded?
DrGlass (1:24:30 AM): I led a jury to believe that she was innocent of a murder when, in fact, she deceived everyone involved - the police, the lawyers, certainly me. I can only blame myself.
MikalloMcc (1:24:50 AM): DINOSAUUUUURRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DrGlass (1:24:50 AM): My relationship with Catherine has obviously gotten too complicated for me to sort out. While she is beautiful, she has proven cunning and dangerous.
MikalloMcc (1:24:57 AM): DINOSAUUUUURRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DrGlass (1:24:57 AM): I am ashamed to say I recorded our interludes. Rather than have me explain, just call 800-595-0588 to listen in.
MikalloMcc (1:25:00 AM): DINOSAUUUUURRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DrGlass (1:25:00 AM): I've said too much. Call me now!
MikalloMcc (1:25:01 AM): DINOSAUUUUURRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MikalloMcc (1:25:06 AM): Pansy

There went six minutes of my time. It probably would've been a lot funnier if I knew what movie or book this moron was from. Meh. Them's the breaks.

Strangely, I'm left with a hankering for peanutbutter toast.

mikallo @ 2006-04-09T18:12:00

2006-04-10T00:54:07Z

Nerdfest, April 08, 2006.

Location: My basement

Players: Matthew McCrory, John McGilvray, Travis Newcomb, Mike Landstreet, and yours truly.

Goal: To play a successfull one-shot GURPS game.

Sounds pretty simple doesn't it? I have another story to tell...

Whenever we get a group together to roleplay things never go as planned. You assign the group a simple task and they end up running off on some tangent that only they understand. Matthew and Danny have tried to build Noah's Ark in the desert...Travis and Bill have "accidentally" burned down buildings...and John has played a vietnamese hooker named "Fook Mi" and a suck-up drill sergeant that was a carbon copy of Milton from Office Space. The simplest tasks take on new meaning with my friends.

Today's adventure?
Go into a cave, kill shit and get phat lewt.

The outcome?
I think I could gather a group of retarded children from all over the globe and assemble a half-witted, non-english speaking task force to accomplish more than we did.

THE CHARACTERS
Half of the fun in the completely off-the-wall characters my friends come up with. We've had ideas like body-building vulcans, explosively farting superheros, a blind sniper, and a guy who eats candles (and that's only the tippity top of the iceberg...).

Mike Landstreet:
Landstreet was a demon. A demon who wasn't evil enough for hell. He was only quasi-evil. He has some stupid little horns a gimp tail. He's quite sensitive about it too.

John and Travis:
The moron boys decide to make a two-headed ogre. I can't put into words how funny it is as Travis (the sadistic half) keeps trying to hurt John (the dumb half) only he feels it too. Or there's the fact that he tries to get John's character drunk on their communal stomach. It turns out Travis is a lightweight and John's none the worse for wear!

Matthew:
Matt decides to make a character that has no-sense of humor and is completely dedicated to the mission. The delusions he gives his character about two-headed ogres and demons probably won't help though....

MEMORABLE QUOTES:
There were way too many to list....I wish I could remember half of the byplay between John and Travis' two-headed monstrosity. They were headbutting each other and doing all sorts of goofy voices. I just can't do it justice in writing.

John: I like cupcakes.
Landstreet: That's nice...
John: I have a problem you see....I'm slow. I like cupcakes.

John: He's Gindor and I'm Rodnig. It was fate.
Travis: Actually, I hypnotized him.

Travis: Shhh! I hear something..
John: HIIIIIII!!!!!!!
Matt: I load my bow and take aim
Me: At the cave?
Matt: Something like that.

Landstreet: You were nice.
Travis: I WAS NICE TO YOU??
Matt: You touched his wiener.
...
Matt: Ok, I don't say that, but my character is clearly thinking it.

THE FINAL OUTCOME:

Landstreet returns to an empty room to find Matthew's character bleeding to death and Travis and John's two-headed ogre dead from being repeatedly kicked in the balls. Landstreet just became three characters worth of loot richer....if he can carry it all.